Well, if that's true, my wishes aren't that great.
For a great majority of my life I have not enjoyed falling asleep. It's not that I don't enjoy the comatose state, or how rejuvenated I feel afterwards. It's not that at all. It's because I have bad dreams almost every night.
I know, pretty awful, right? I don't understand it either. Some say that when you dream it's a mixture of your subconscious, desires and perhaps the events of the day manifesting itself. I can't believe that is true.
This is a painting By Fuseli entitled "The Nightmare". I remember studying it in Art History in high school. Isn't it a creepy image?
When I dream one of four things usually happens - there is a natural disaster, someone is pursuing me and trying to kill me, something terrible happens to someone I love (illness, death, etc.), or I do something I am ashamed of (getting all F's, doing something mean/immoral.)
Let me tell you it really bites!
But you know what? Sometimes I do have a real dream. A dream where when I wake up, I feel serene and happy. Sometimes I'm a hero. Sometimes I can fly. And sometimes, I'm just doing something I love.
I often wonder if my dreams are a trial that I have been given. Perhaps, because at times I feel I lead a charmed life and I need to go through these hard things in my dreams. Maybe it is to test me, or to allow me to feel empathy for others. I don't know.
I've also had the thought that the adversary is affecting my dreams. But I do have this hope, however fruitless it may be. I hope that someday, when I am married, and have a worthy Priesthood holder sleeping beside me, perhaps I won't have bad dreams anymore.
A girl can dream, right? ;)
Erica ~ I know exactly what you describe and let me tell you, it does make a HUGE difference! There is a calming power in the priesthood that can't be found anywhere else.
ReplyDeleteOh my sweet daughter. I love you so much. I know you have battled this your whole life, and that makes me so sad. I am ever praying for you to have sweet dreams. You are one of the valiant ones.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could make your bad dreams go away!! I love you!
ReplyDeleteI hardly ever remember my dreams.
ReplyDeleteYou could always start writing your dreams and become a gazillion billionaire like Stephenie Meyer! :-)
Hope your bad dreams go away!!
Your hope will come true. Nancy had this feeling since 2nd grand that she was being laughed at, and it was an evil laugh. She mostly felt it in her home. After we were married, the feelings followed. However, after we returned to the teaching of our youth and were sealed in the temple, the feels have left for good. I know you hope will come true.
ReplyDeleteI have terrible dreams...but when I just can not over come them Chris will give me a blessing. I have found that if I pray to have good thoughts and dreams right before I go to bed. I usually am fine...no bad dreams.
ReplyDeleteOne of my daughters struggles with terrible dreams...I am thankful I understand the power of dreams so I can try and help her out as much as possible.